Television programs can have real human application. Even shallow and surfacy sit-coms can come to mind when one needs to problem solve. Who hasn't used a phrase or a slang from one such show to lighten the mood or make others laugh? The reality is that television has tremendous implications and affect on our culture and moments of self-searching.
For instance I watched the program "Cheers" as a teenager and now find myself recalling such an episode to help me through a challenging moment. In this episode one of the bar-maids, Carla, is dating a professional athlete. Carla discovers that she is bad luck for her man while he plays and so in an effort to keep him as her boyfriend and allow him to play his best they break up before each game. Their break-ups are intense and really! really! mean. They yell and sling accusations to one another. None of this was done privately but instead as bar patrons watched and listened in horror. The regulars paid no attention but new patrons were aghast with their words of anger. After his game was over and all had gone well for him, they resumed their relationship until the next game.
Today this episode will guide my words as I try to say goodbye to my friend Richelle. I think in an effort for me to deal with her leaving I have a few mean words to sling her way.
1. You have never ever cared for my kids. I can see in the way that you talk to them and laugh with them that it has all been a sham. Your compliments and praise of my kids seemed rehearsed and empty.Your offers of advice and concern have seemed shallow and unfeeling.
2. Shane never liked it when you picked him up from school and took him to get polar pops or made him laugh with your fun and sweet antics...there I said it, "Sweet" He didn't retell funny Richelle stories. That would mean he liked being with you.
3. Cassie was only acting like she could be her complete self with you. She only was pretending that she felt safe and loved by you. She saw right through your seeming understanding of her. Remember the time you consoled her after she lost her retainers? You drove back to the school and took time to help. She told me later that you said you would look through dumpsters if it meant you could keep her from crying. Psh...you are good at this acting genuine stuff.
4. Remember when you would come over for haircuts to our home and all of us would come downstairs just to visit and laugh with you? No one ever looked forward to your visits. You should know I had to force every one of my kids with threats.
5. What about your contagious laugh? It's not.
6. This summer when we rode on the train with our kids to Kansas City, I had no fun...none at all. The museums we went to, the restaurants we visited and the fun times at our "travel deal, best price evva" suites caused me great suffering. When we went to Liberty Jail and Independence Visitors Center I was just pretending like it was fun to be there with a family that cared about the same things that I did.
7. When you suggested ideas for our families to get together for FHE and you had the lesson, I am pretty sure I could have come up with a better one. And the game nights together...well let's just say that I wished you had not been there to laugh so much and make it fun. It was way too loud for my liking.
8. Although I missed the family softball game between our families I only laugh at it's retelling to make you feel better about calling all of your kids losers.
9. Your opinions and "realness" about bladder control, church gossips, mean people, politics and diets were unwelcomed opinions and I don't know why you ever felt at ease in my home to express them.
10. Lunch with you...well it was ok. I got a meal each time so that made it bearable. Shopping afterward; I had to do that anyway.
11. Bringing your children into our home when you were doing haircuts DID not make me love them at all. I could never go out of my way for any of them. I did not enjoy Kyle as a baby sleeping on our couch, or Jake as a quiet chubby kid, now grown to a great teenageer, Tyler as the keeper of all things funny and your brown-eyed beauty, Alison. Just don't care!
12. Your candid and real ways were never refreshing. Don't you know that people are watching and expect you to at least act like you are perfect? Such an embarrassment for me!
13. I can't recall anything that has even allowed us to remain friends. Nothing like walking together, going on double dates together, taking pictures, attending swim meets, going to pep rallies, yard sales with the cops taking our customers away in handcuffs...etc. I am sure there are many more that I will think of later.
14. I never felt pretty after you cut and colored my hair.
15. Rachel, Carly and Jenna don't really see you as a friend. Agreed you did some nice up-do's for prom and dances for them but your offer of friendship was meaningless. It didn't mean anything if after the haircut was done they would stay with you for hours visiting and listening.
16. My kids screaming out the front door as you left, " I love you Richelle!" was just an effort to make you uncomfortable with the word, LOVE. They don't feel it.
17. Your dinner and help with my kids when I was down from surgery were nice but I think you did it unwillingly. Your smile and lack of hesitation revealed how you really felt.
18. Knowing that you will be gone and so far away in Brazil makes me understand how much easier Sundays will be without you. I will not miss your under the breath, yet appropriate comments in Relief Society and the treats you brought to that same meeting to keep my blood sugar up. I will not be looking for you in my Sunday School class anymore cause now I know why you truly aren't there.
19. The spray tan experience will not be one of the most funny and embarrassing moments of my life. I will not be able to recall this and laugh and cry at the same time. It is not and never will be a picture or feeling I will be able to conjure up in my head for laughs when I want to remember your friendship. Such a horrible and unrefined experience should be forgotten and buried!
20. I will not say that I will miss you more than you can understand. I will not say good-bye like I care that you are leaving me behind. I will not worry about you or call you while you live behind barbed wire and glass coated concrete walls. I will not think of you and wonder how you are doing. I will not pray that your kids are doing well in school and with the language shock. I will not hope that you have time to work on some of your dreams and talents while a maid does all your housework.
And yet all the while I write this, I am sad to be getting rid of such an mediocre friend.
Why?
Cause it is in how you live your life you have revealed your heart.
